*looks around to see walls close to each other* OH NO.. In CLOsed SPACES!!!!! *runs around panickly in circles screaming then runs into a wall getting knocked on the floor.  Her eyes now x's like anime style with sweat drop* X.X''''
   well that was somewhat interesting.......well what to say umm...???? oh i know, there's an evil monkey that lives in my closet.....
   Okay enough weirdness in everything... Do you know what sux? huh Do you, HUH? HUH HUH? WOMEN!!!  Okay especially the ones you go out with and hate their dad but then they agree with their dad and just break up with you.....anyways enough of my sad strange pathetic love life
   *sings* We're men, we're men in tights, We roam around the forest looking for fights, we may look like panzies, but don't tell us that or else we'll punch out  your lights

 Came home from my French teacher's house today. Had some fun actually spent time with her daughter and stuff....
   See, I told her about us moving...Told her how I didn't want to leave here that i wanted to graduate here...She talked to her husband and well they offered me to stay with them...I think its cool and all i mean she is like family to me but I don't know about it you know, I mean don't get me wrong I love her as a mom i mean she is there for me and everything but I just you know, don't want to put all that on her i mean she's done an incredible amount for me and everything but i mean I....I would really like to stay here with my friends and with her and stuff and actually have an accepting family of who I am.  I mean she is really accepting of my homosexuality and my religion and she really tries to push me to be the best I can be no matter what the obsticle seems to be....I think it would be cool to have a family you know that I can really be myself in and not have to worry about it but then there comes to the fact of remembering someone here....Just going through it and everything constantly thinking about it over and over again in my mind.  Then there's my girlfriend Micah.  I really want to be with her and everything but for once I actually have a family...Something I really didn't have growing up much.  I love my teacher as if she were my mother, I mean she acts like a mother to me all the time.  I can't complain about it. I mean I love it and everything.  It's really great. :D  But there are times where I just feel like if I stay, I'm going to be making the biggest mistake of my life, I'm scared of losing Micah to be completely honest but I would just for once like to have a family..I've always wanted one more than anything..
   I have a while to still think about it but I'm pretty sure i'm going to stay...I have friends like Jennifer and her brothers plus her mom, they kinda need me you know? Or wait maybe you don't know, after all this is just a web page and me typing my endless amount of confusement on here but anyways..
I think i'm going to just stop thinking about it for the night.
TTYAL

   Okay now I'm really confused on the decision I'm supposed to make....
   I talked to my brother about it. Well maybe I should start from the beginning on this.
   I have a brother, him and I were supposed to be getting an apartment to move in together which was the coolest thing in the world.  Just a 2 bedroom apartment, us sharing a room and then having an office room.  Sounds pretty cool right?  But then things began to change.  He wants his girlfriend to move in with us.  Which I'm pretty sure to you guys thats not a big problem, the issue with it is well she has a baby. I mean it's not that I don't like little kids or anything it's just well him and her want to have one of their own.  Which means no more two bedroom apartment, it's now going to have to be a three bedroom apartment.  Which he continuously argued with me about....Which pissed me off so bad ><''.  Well then it turns into two other people will be living with us besides his g/f and the baby.  Kim and Jessica...That really set me off!!! ><''' (<----again witht he angry face you might see this one a lot in this particular entry to my journal.)  I mean don't get me wrong I love Kim as if she were a sister to me but the fact is he just keeps adding more people in the house.  Because of that he suggests a four-bedroom apartment.  FOUR-BEDROOM APARTMENT!!!!!!! ><''''  Where does he expect all of us to get the money for that kind of place anyways.  So then I went back to suggesting having a three-bedroom apartment, (Notice how that is now in Italics!)  So I came up with this rule if he wants to have another baby in the house that once his girlfriend or fiance or whatever she will be then is 7-8 months pregnant that Jessica and Kim have to be gone out of the apartment to make room for the babies.  He argued stating that he can fit a small work area with his computer, two cribs then a bed for him and his "person" in one small little room so Kim and Jessica don't have to leave.  Well YOU are not going to have room for FOUR PEOPLE and a WORK AREA in a room, besides don't you all agree with me that giving them almost a year and a half to find their own place is fair?  So then we got back on the subject of only keeping a four-bedroom apartment in mind. (Which basically means we aren't really sure about it or not but if I have anything to say about it..It's going to be a NO!!!!!). 
   Well then I realized what my teacher told me. (You know the teacher I mentioned that was going to let me stay with her if I could.)  He got so mad at me.  Here's the conversation:
Bro: Jeanie is down in Wacco.
Me: What is she doing in Wacco. She's not supposed to be here for a while.
Bro: She's only visiting relatives.
Me:  Right and then she's going to come down here. Man what is wrong with you.  We don't even have an apartment yet.

   Anyways....I'm so happy I went to the beautiful land of Wal-Mart and bought myself...*looks around back and forth and reaches in her bag to pull out a CD.*  MICHELLE BRANCH CD!!!!!  *walks to her CD player and puts it in.  Then hits the play button.  Waits for it to start but it doesn't then hits the play button again and again getting angry and frustrated at it then gets the mad anime face on* >< ERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR..... *It finally plays* YAY!!! ^^
   *Does her happy dance to the music*
   Anyways.  Well no phone call from my brother yet....Guess he's still mad at me *sighs* Gods....Why do I feel like I'm making the right choice but yet it feels like the wrong choice at the same time.  Is it cause I feel guilty for not sticking to the plans my brother and I agreed on....Geeze this is so confusing.  My friend told me something about it let me copy and paste it in here so I can reread it and then break it down.

   
   

   Okay well here we go again, another boring day at Shoemaker High School....Watching the announcements and nevermind he just cut them off.....><'''''  Anyways
   Still haven't heard from my brother.  He hasn't called me yet.  Kinda worried about him....Sounds stupid doesn't it.  Everyone keeps telling me not to worry abut it yet it's really hard not to think about it you know?  Okay maybe you don't again you are just a computer and I'm typing on a webpage....But whoever read this might know.  Yea even my friend Parker thinks I shouldn't worry about it.
   Right now having fun. In BIM&M not doing anything.  Well I mean I'm doing something but yea waiting to print off this stupid project that was supposed to be printed off yesterday but never got done cause the teacher ignored me when I asked him what printer to print it to....>< (<---Yes, again with the stupid little aggrivated angyr faces yet this time with anime sweatdrops added.)
   So what am I doing at this moment...That's very interesting.  Besides waiting for me to print off this stupid project I'm reading a book and typing on a webpage.  ISn't this amazing I can muliti task!!!  ISN'T THAT SO FUCKEN AWESOME?!!!!!!!!!!!  Okay maybe to me it is but to you it may not be because you all just suck.
   This French book is very interesting talks about the history, the culture, the sciences, and the art of France from the beginning of it to well whenever the book was published.  Right now it's talking about the industry in France....Some interesting stuff and then I've come to realize that reading French is easier than reading English....And I'm not even ghood at speaking French....That's what you call ummm weird? Am I right?  I guess I'm going to laugh when any of my spellings come out weird.....Watch I just mind end up typing text from the book without realizing it until after I'm done with this journal entry. Well I'm done printing so I'm going to go now See you all laterz

Okay here I am again for probably the second or third time today....I just LOVE this journal thing...Probably because I love to write.
   Well today went okay...Had a lot of fun and everything but just you know have you ever gotten up and just got tired of doing the same damned thing over and over and over again.  Doesn't it just feel like that's how it's going to be the rest of your life? And for one of the many things I wonder....Do I ask this stupid webpage too many questions for my own good?  O.o...Anywho
   Well my teacher is okay hopefully.  Things were stressfull in the beginning but in the end they always just seem to get a little better which is a good thing...I think.....^^'''''
   I am just so bored...I ish really reallly bored!!!!  I made a "Thank You" E-Card for my teacher today.  Isn't it weird how she always jsut seems to come up in this little thing alot? LOL.
   But yea now for the alternate means....Roleplaying....So much fun, so full of life, so just that spark of something you love...and just.....Well.....I don't know...Stuff!
   I miss my Micah!!!!  *Throws a fit and cries a bit.*  And you all want to know what the pathetic thing about all of it is.  I'm talking to her online at the same time I'm typing this up.  I can be the weirdest person in the world can't I?
   Still haven't heard from my brother but yet that still doesn't suprise me.  I mean I wouldn't talk to me either if I just made a choice in life.....><'''' (<-----Yes again once more with the agrivated faces from Hell.) But I've come to the decision that I think is best for me.  I think I'm going to stay with my teacher.  I mean I know it probably sounds weird to everyone out there but to me it sounds completely normal.  I mean, she's pushed me through alot.  Stood by my side when no one else would.  Pushed me through limitations I have set for myself.  She brought out the best in me when no one else or even I could see it in me.  There could be no better gift God could give to me, then her.  And there's no better gift she can give to me then what she has.  And thats putting faith in me.  If there was a way I could just make my brother understand that....
   Well I'm happy with my decision and well if he doesn't like it then I understand but I need to stop for once and make the best choice for me at this time.....I'm starting to sound like my teacher and my girlfriend....Wow....That's amazing...Guess they even teach you things whe you don't even expect them.  Well I'm going to head out of this thing for the night.  See ya.

   Okay here I am in school again...Does that suprise any of you out there in this universe?  I just love having a computer class 3rd period.  It is so much fun.  Well once more I am multitasking and it's freaking even more people out this time.  *Evil laughter* MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! 
   Okay back down to reality.  yes again I'm reading a French Book.  This time it is a different one.  The last one wwas all up until the modern day now this is just the strict history of France.  The book is called: "Histoire De La France."  So of course out of that you know for sure that it's describing the history of France.  Right now I'm on the subject of the Roman influence in Gaule after they invaded them.  It's quite interesting....Well maybe more to me than you only for the fact that I'm a nerd and books rule!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   
   Well like I told you I printed off the stupid piece of paper thingy I was supposed to yesterday and now I'm on the topic of debating whether or not I want to leave this damned classroom and go to my French class or Art class.  Or just sit here and read this book cause it's so way cooler then doing nothing right now.  That and I am learning the history in class so yea it's kinda helping that and my dyslexia doesn't kick in with it.     
   Okay the weirdest thing just happened.  I had to take a survey to know if I were a single parent, pregnant teenager or no applicable...* Looks to piece of paper getting frustrated over the answers and then just marks zero*  There not a problem....Now where was I in my book before I was interupted...Oh yea anyways my friend Parker tried reading the book yesterday and she did a really good job at it too.  :D  I ISH PROUD OF YOU GIRLY!!!!!!
   Anywahs this is quite fun and stuff.  Just going on rambling about stupid things in this computer to where I have come to the conclusion that I am ready to leave this damned room and go to the French room to see if I can read a bit of the Harry Potter books she has.  Because Harry Potter is just so fricken awesome and stuff....
   Anways well so I'm going to log off this computer and move on my way to class.
   I shall rspond in ths little webpage thingy when I get home or earlier in the day, Depending on whatever I feel like doing.....Which is probably sleeping or calling my girlfriend and annoying her or just going to band rehersals, which I haven't done for a long time.  ^^'''''''  Hehehehe.  Well check you all laterz

   Okay wel here I am once more bored out of my mind cause the teacher won't let me leave the classroom even though I have the stupid paper thingy printed out and ready to go.  Oh well I'll just go there later and read the Harry Potter books or I might just do my work in the class to get that part over with.....I don't know.  Okay now on chapter 2....La Gaule romaine.   Basically about he domination politics and the intergration between the two.  
   Man I"m so fricken bored now.  I mean in all honesty do you think that you would stay in a class with nothing to do really?  But hey I found something to do other than type in this journal.  Look up pictures of the sexy chicks from T.A.T.U......I mean come on you all have to agree with me there right?  I mean just look at them....Chicks from Russia are just so sexy and even though they are fake lesbians....THEY SURE ARE HOT!!!!!  LOL!!!  Okay anyways back down to a reality check. 
   I miss my girlfriend!!!!!!  WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  *cries* I mean geeze it feels like forever before I finally get to talk to her at the end of the day.....I mean isn't it just messed up....I hate being 2 hours ahead of her and for another thing the distance just sucks you know what I'm saying I have to depend on my damn cell phone to talk to her.  And the worst part about it all....MY PHONE LIKES TO CUT OUT ON ME WHEN I'M ON THE PHONE WITH HER!!!!!! >< ERRRRRRRRRRRRRR... Okay now that I got that out of my system.  *Looks at some Teen Titan pictures wondering if she'll find any good ones iwth Raven in them.*  Okay I just saw the most disturbing picture I will ever see in my life....Raven and Starfire.....Naked together in bed....Kissing and other stuff...Actually that doesn't bother me one bit they would actually make a good couple if you actually come to think about it.  Okay maybe some of you out there really don't want to think about it.  But I mean  wouldn't it be awesome if theyd id go out..  Oaky there are really perverted people in my class that abuse the internet privilages in this class.  Lesbian porn.....The worst part about it is...It's in German. *Dramatic music plays* Oh well whatever flo9ats your boat I guess.  It's jsut so weird...I have on e guy on one side of me that is into Jap Anime which is just so awesome cause so am I but then again if I look to my right I have dumb and dumber sitting next to me....And it's just plain sick and disgusting but oh well again whatever floats your boat.
   Do you know whats interesting about the internet?  When I typed in a search for Emma Watson ( You know the girl that plays Hermione in the Hrry Potter movies.)  I end up with pictures of Harry and Ron....
   Which in mind gives me a great idea....What would happen if Harry Potter wnt gay... I could come up with an awesome story for it and everything....and who knows...Maybe I can get my character to fall in love with Hermione....*smiles at the thoguth of Emma watson* Okay i know that probably sounds worng to all of you out ther ebut hey if only she was a little older then there would never be an issue with having a crush on her....><'''''  Besides she's actually attractice now and not as annoying as she used to be...
   Okay enough of that before I say something I'm not supposed to say that you would probably want information out of me for but I ain't going to give it to you.  Naznanananana. :P
   Do you guys ever think I have way to much fun on this thing I mean I can go raniting and raving on and on about nothing. well it's time to go.. See ya laterz *waves to everyone*

   Well okay what do you know I actually have a better title for this one.  This is really impressive...Well not really I just felt like saying that.
   Well today I went to my first International Club meeting....It was really interesting come to find out my friend was in there and I haven't seen him for the longest time.  He sees me and I didn't see him but he goes like. "IT'S NICK!!!! MY SEXY LESBIAN GIRLFRIEND!!" and then I noticed him and went like, "CHRIS!!!! MY SEXY GAY BOYFRIEND!!!!"  and we ran to each other then hugged. ^^  Sorry I know its just so thrilling to let you all know my boyfriend is gay. LOL!!!  Why is it that gay people always get along with lesbians so well?  It's probably just cause it's the weird psychological thing with the world....
   But anyways my friend is the vice-president or the president of the club or something like that and we had to introduce the "newbies" today and she looked at me and she was like "It's Nicky's turn!" We had so much fun there and we first wen there I separated myself (like I usually do in places until i know people...)  Then my French Teacher points out that there was a student in there that I was in class with for like a whole one week.  So I was like "let me guess this means quit being non social and get up here and talk to people." she was like "There you go."
   Evil demon French mommy!!!!!! Oh well it wasn't so bad if I think about it.  But yea so we had somewhat of some fun....Gotta bring food next week....Tomorrow night I don't think I'll be writting, so sorry to all of those who like to read this nonsense I write on here to know how my life is going...I'm going to be babysitting and getting stuff ready for the Halloween Sabat coming up.  I might actually go see a coven and go celebrate in a group or something.
   I"m having fun listening to Irish music...It's so fricken relaxing and everything....Now I'm singing to it.  This is just great....Sooner or later I'll just dance to it.  Well I'm going to go ahead and sign out of here and stuff and just look around online for some stuff.  See ya

   Wow the lunar eclipse is so beautiful right now...The sign of the sabbat...It's amazing.  It's like just another universe looking down at us or us looking at it..I know I'm probably making no sense to any of you out there but if just once in a moment if you could just look up at the stars for once.  Maybe realize the greater things you have in life and appriciate it more, You'd realize that you have something so special in your life.  And just when you think you're getting ready to give it up don't, because you never know how much that means to you until you loose it.  Keep everyone and everything you love close to you.  You never really know how much it means til its gone and sometimes by then it's always too late to get it back.