Came home from my French teacher's house today. Had some fun actually spent time with her daughter and stuff....
   See, I told her about us moving...Told her how I didn't want to leave here that i wanted to graduate here...She talked to her husband and well they offered me to stay with them...I think its cool and all i mean she is like family to me but I don't know about it you know, I mean don't get me wrong I love her as a mom i mean she is there for me and everything but I just you know, don't want to put all that on her i mean she's done an incredible amount for me and everything but i mean I....I would really like to stay here with my friends and with her and stuff and actually have an accepting family of who I am.  I mean she is really accepting of my homosexuality and my religion and she really tries to push me to be the best I can be no matter what the obsticle seems to be....I think it would be cool to have a family you know that I can really be myself in and not have to worry about it but then there comes to the fact of remembering someone here....Just going through it and everything constantly thinking about it over and over again in my mind.  Then there's my girlfriend Micah.  I really want to be with her and everything but for once I actually have a family...Something I really didn't have growing up much.  I love my teacher as if she were my mother, I mean she acts like a mother to me all the time.  I can't complain about it. I mean I love it and everything.  It's really great. :D  But there are times where I just feel like if I stay, I'm going to be making the biggest mistake of my life, I'm scared of losing Micah to be completely honest but I would just for once like to have a family..I've always wanted one more than anything..
   I have a while to still think about it but I'm pretty sure i'm going to stay...I have friends like Jennifer and her brothers plus her mom, they kinda need me you know? Or wait maybe you don't know, after all this is just a web page and me typing my endless amount of confusement on here but anyways..
I think i'm going to just stop thinking about it for the night.
TTYAL