Here's a quote that I think we is pretty cool.
   "How can you turn to the person you need, when the person you need is the one making you cry?"
   Makes you think doesn't it?  Well it sure does with me.  It's like one of those riddles in life thats the hardest one to solve isn't it?   
   Well I just want whoever reads it to take time out and think about that quote and give me an input on what they think..

   I just feel like everyone tries to do something different.  But we all wind up doing the same damn thing, you know?  We all travel thousands of miles from home, just to check into some place with all the comforts of home.  And you gotta ask yourself, what's the point of that?
   Trust me it's paradise.  This is where the hungry come to feed.  From mine it's a generation that circles the globe.  And searches for something they haven't tried before.  So never refuse and invitation.  Never resist the unfamiliar.  Never fail to be polite and never outstay the welcome.  Just keep your mind and suck in the experiance.  If it hurts, then it's probably worth it.  But if I was being completely honest, I was being like everyone else:  Shit scared of the unknown.
   But when you develop an infactuation for someone.  You always find a reason to believe that this is exactly the person for you.  It doesn't need to be a good reason.
   And me, I still believe in paradise.  But now at least I now it's not some place you can look for.  Cause it's not where you go.  It's how you feel for a moment in your life, when you're a part of something.  And when you find that moment.  It lasts forever.

   Yea looking at colleges last night wiht my teacher.   We found one I really like thats run by SCAD (Savannah College of Art and Design.).  It's in France in Lacoste which is near Mersailles, down at the bottom of France.  It would be easy for me being in a foreign country because it is an english based school yet I can learn to speak French better than what I can.  The scenery of the place is really beautiful.  It looks amazing the only problem is, you need to participate in a summer internship.  If I want to stay there and actually participate in a year college it's about 20,750 a year.

   Okay how weird is this...I have a bunch of girls that want to go out with me at my school...It's really disturbing.  The really weird one that I find kind of funny is, my friend Brittany likes me.  I find it very interesting don't all of you out there?  Anyways yea just a bunch of thoughts on my mind right now.  Just kinda sorting them out.. My teacher ended up going home sick today which is cool I mean I have no problem with that but the sub kept giving me French One work when I already have an assignment to do for FRENCH 4!!!!  It was really starting to piss me off.....>.<''''  But anyways guess thats a part of life you just have to get used to going through...
   Right now I am just so fricken tired....My mom went in for surgery this morning.  I'm not worried about it really but it has put a lot of stress on my part.  Especially with my aunt down here. Even though she is trying to help out it just seems even more stressful cause she doesn't know what's going on right now.  Then my daddy forgot to call us last night like he promised he would.  I haven't even received an e-mail from him yet and it's been a MONTH!!!! 
   Anyways the bell looks like it's getting ready to ring.  So I'll see you all later.

   Today we had the coolest sub in the history of sub's!!!!  She was so awesome!!!  *playfully* I think I'm in love ^^ LOL.  She is so fricken awesome I'm serious.  She sat down and talked with me and she even helped me do translations in that class.  She's just so kick ass man....Okay hyper moment is gone again......back to reality.
   

   The wind sifted through Haruka's sandy blonde bangs as she quickly drove down the road trying to get home.  The thought of her lover just filled her mind more and made her smile more as she continued to drive.  She finally pulled into the driveway of their house near the sea. 
   Haruka moved out of the car quickly and ran to the door.  She sighed and smiled again and opened the door.  She looked up and her smile turned upside down and her face's emotions moved to somewhat of a confusion and shock. 
   Michiru only giggled kissing another man then looked to Haruka and then to the man she was with.  Haruka looked to the black haired man that had his hair slicked back and his sunglasses on.  Michiru walked over to Haruka, "We need to talk."
   Michiru and Haruka sat down upstairs talking for a bit. Haruka's emotions kept stirring inside her, she didn't know whether to feel hurt or sad, even angry if that would all help at all.  Michiru finally sat down beside her after mumbling to her, "Haruka, I love Haru now.  We can always still be friends."
   Haruka only looked up to see the eyes of the one person she loved most and the world and watched her leave with that man.  The door slamming of the car and hearing it drive  off in the distance didn't make the feeling any better. 
   She slowly slumped down the stairs, with her head hanging low as a sign of depression.  She only layed on the couch looking emotionless trying to let the numbness of her body take control.   She looked into the kitchen to only see a small light of something glimmering in the distance. 
   Haruka smiled to herself a bit and picked herself up off the couch and began to move to the shinning object picking it up and only staring at it.  A few moments later the sound of the object falling to the ground echoed throughout the house.  Haruka's body hitting the ground came after the object.  She looked around to see only things becoming blurry and only as shapes until finally all she saw was darkness.
   Setsuna tried calling the house a couple of times but no one picked up.  She moved out of her car and unlocked the door to the house and walked in.  She turned on the light in the kitchen and her eyes widened as she saw Haruka laying on the floor bleeding horribly.  She immeadiatly called the hospital to inform them that she would soon be on her way with a patient.

~Never made it as a wise man, Couldn't cut it as a poor man stealing
Tired of living like a blind man, I'm sick inside without a sense of feeling,
And this is how you remind me of what I really am,
This is how you remind me of what I really am,
It's not like you to say sorry, I was waiting on a different story,
This time I'm mistaken for handing you a heart worth breaking,
I've been wrong, I've been down, Into the bottom of every bottle,
These five words in my head, Scream are we having fun yet?
Yea, Yea, Yea, No, No, Yea, Yea, Yea, No, No.~

   While Haruka layed in the hospital bed incoherrant memories filled her mind as she remembered what happened the last time she did this. 
   She remembers coming home from work one and Michiru wasn't yet home so she decided to prepared dinner for the two.  While she was cooking she remembered receiving a phone call from someone about her Uncle dieing in a car accident.  The phone dropping from her ear and the dial tone ringing could be heard echoing in her ears. Then once again her world went blank.  Then remebering when she woke up to see her laying on the couch and her wrists bandaged and Michiru sitting next to her.  Michiru's face appeared as if she was crying and worried.  Haruka then held her in her arms and told her everything would be alright and that she promised she would never hurt herself again.
   Haruka gently opened her eyes to see her laying in a hospital bed.  The lights in her eyes bothered her but when Setsuna walked in to see Haruka's eyes open she finally sighed of relief and could feel the smile coming across her face.  She moved over to Haruka and looked at her vital signs, "Well it's good to know you're still with us."
   Haruka only chuckled and looked to her finally to see Setsuna's emotions change.
   "You have a visitor Haruka.  I'll let her in."  Setsuna stated leaving the room wiping away a fallen tear from her eyes.
   Haruka could only wonder who this visitor was.  She knew of no one who would really care if she was alive or dead.  When she turned her head to see Michiru in the room her face the same as it was in her memory only looking to her with sadder eyes.  Michiru knew the cause of the problem and yet she felt horrible cause she wanted to fix it but she knew telling Haruka she loved her and always will would just make everything harder for the two.
   Setsuna came back in with paper work that Michiru signed for her release, "Haruka.  Michiru will be taking you in for a while until we know you can get back on your feet and that you are mentally stable enough to live on your own again."
   Haruka only looked and parted her lips for the first time, "Is there another option?"
   "Yea, we put you upstairs in the mental hospital until improvement."
   "I think I'll go with Michiru."
   "I thought so.  Miss Kaioh, Haruka is officially in your charge as soon as she gets dressed you can take her to your house."
   Michiru nodded and walked outside with Setsuna to talk to her and leave Haruka some privacy.  Haruka layed there for a bit, keeping the way Michiru looked at her in her mind constantly thinking about the first time she had tried to kill herself.

~It's not like you didn't know that, I said I love you and I swear I still do,
And it must have been so bad, Cause living with me must have damn near killed you,
And this is how you remind me of what I really am,
This is how you remind me of what I really am,
It's not like you, To say sorry, I was waiting on a different story,
This time I'm mistaken, For handing you a heart worth breaking,
I've been wrong, I've been down, Into the bottom of every bottle,
These five words in my head, Scream are we having fun yet?
Yea, Yea, Yea, No, No, Yea, Yea, Yea, No, No.~

   The drive home was nothing but silence.  Haru tried to comfort Michiru the best he could while he was driving.  Haruka only looked at the two in disgust and continued to stare blankly ahead keeping silent the entire drive to the house.
   Haruka moved into the house first and ran upstairs to her room.  Michiru sighed and looked down as Haru attempted to but his hand on her shoulder, she only brushed it off and ran upstairs after her. 
   Haruka dropped her bag and sighed sitting down on the corner of the guest bed.  She sighend sulking down, placing her elbows on knees folding her hands and her head lowered.  Her sandy blonde bangs only fell over her grey eyes.  She looked up to see where she put her old guitar and picked it up along with trying to find a pick.  Haruka ran her thumb across one string and heard it out of tune.  She tightened the string and played another note hearing it sound perfect.
   Michiru stood at the doorway placing her head against her frame watching her carefully.  Haruka began to play and opened her mouth and began to sing, "Never made it as a wise man, couldn't cut it as a poor man stealing.  And this is how you remind me. This is how you remind me of what I really am.  This is how you remind me of what I really am." Haruka looked up with a cold ice glare at Michiru and continued to play, "It's not like you to say sorry. I was waiting on a different story, this time I'm mistaken.  For handing you a heart worth breaking. I've been wrong. I've been down. Into the bottom of every bottle.  These five words in my head.  Scream are we having fun yet? Yea, yea, yea. No, no. Yea, yea, yea. No no."
   Michiru only stared at Haruka and watched her put the guitar down.  She only sighed and left the room knowing that Haruka wanted to be left alone.

I came home a little while ago and became really depressed and started crying and this song really describes it so here you are.

Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong, and no one understands you?
Do you ever wanna runaway?
Do you lock yourself in your room?

   The light from the moon shinned through the window of Haruka's room hitting her face.  She only squinted her eyes and rolled over restlessly trying to sleep.  She finally sat up in discomfort just thinking about Michiru and her together.  She remembered the feel of every touch and the taste of every kiss.  It bothered her to think that Michiru was with Haru.  Haruka would try her best to get along with the fact of those two being together but if she really thought about it.  She could feel an anger inside of her boil in the pit of her stomach. 
   Haruka finally looked over to the clock to see it's 4 in the morning.  She sighed and shooked her head rubbing her eyes.  She finally stood up and stretched and walked to the closet and put on a pair of sweat-pants, shirt, and then her running shoes.
   Haruka moved quietly down the stairs to see that Haru and Michiru were asleep on the couch.  She silently crept out the door and began to take a morning jog around the beach.
    After taking a very long walk, Haruka came into the house to smell food being cooked in the kitchen.  Haru sat on the couch in the living room watching his usual television shows in the morning.  He only sipped at his coffee and began to read the newspaper.  Haruka smirked to herself and found this as a really great opportunity to get on his nerves.
   She walked over to the couch sat down and took the remote from the night table and changed the channel right in the middle of his show to see some motocross races.  Haru pulled the newspaper down from his nose to see the channel was turned and looked out of the corner of his eye to see Haruka leaning in watching every detail of the race.

   Rayvene thrashed around violently as incoherrant thoughts and images filled her mind.  Disturbed by the noises his sister was making, Anaki woke up and crawled over to her and began to shake her lightly repeating her name over and over again.
   "Rayvene." Was all he could remember saying last before he noticed his feet hanging above the ground.  He gasped for air as he looked to see his sisters hand grasped around his neck lifting him.  His natural first instict was to place his hands on her arm and move his head to loosen her grip.  When he tried to do so, he found her left hand harnessing a gun that was pointed to his head, Rayvene's finger on the trigger, just itching to pull it back and fire.  He looked to her eyes to see them an ice blue and her fangs extended.  He struggled once more and finally managed to speak once more, "Can you put me down."
   Rayvene shook her head and knocked herself out of her vicious state of mind.  She let him go and had him hit the floor.  All Anaki did was gasp for air and coughed a bit.  His purple eyes looked up to see her only checking her gun to make sure everything was okay with it.  Rayvene's eyees went back to their evergreen state and she looked down to him without sympathy, "Sorry." Was all she would say to him.
   The other two that traveled with them in their party came running into their tent to see Anaki on the floor and Rayvene holding her gun after cocking it back.  They ran to Anaki and helped him up to his feet.  All Rayvene did was turn around and picked up her burlap bag and walked out of the tent to avoid all confrontations with the three boys she traveled with.  Anaki walked out there after her and looked to herm, "Where do you think you're going."
   Rayvene didn't say anything she only continued on the dirt beaten path that lead down into the woods.
   "No offense Anaki but you're sister is a bitch," stated Rei scratching the back of his head.
   Neako came behind him and sat on a log near the fire along with the others, "She is Akkadian you need to understand that.  Even raised in a coven."
   "Yea.  A coven.  Thats supposed to be like family the bad thing is she treats me worse than she did them.  And the even more pathetic thing is.  We're blood."
   "Thats the downside.  She was trained to be loyal to them and to naturally kill outsiders like us."  Stated Rei poking at the fire with his stick, "She'll come around."
   Anaki and Neako stare up at Rei with a 'what are you talking about' look.  He looked to them and smirked sheepishly, "Eventually."
*****
   Rayvene continued to walk down the path to when she reached the lake.  She climbed to the area where the waterfall lie and went behind it setting down her bag and removing her cloths from her slender tall yet mucular body.  
   She jumped in the water swimming under it for a while and then coming back up moving her wet brown hair out of her face.  Rayvene sighed gently listening to the birds singing their song.  It acted as a lulliby to her and increased the tiredness that she felt.  The wolf family that was close by stood on rocks and their ears perked up ad the birds stopped singing.  Rayvene came out of her moment of bliss and looked around feeling slight discomfort from not hearing any sounds. 
   Rayvene moved slowly to the rocks when a gun shot fired at her and made her retract her arm back.  She looked up to see a man taking out the empty shell in the shotgun.  Jumping behind the waterfall quickly just ended up getting her shot in the leg.  The sting of the pain she felt bothered her none as she quickly placed her black pants on then her her black tank top like shirt. Turning to her left she saw the wolf family there and the leader snarling and growling.
   "Shit." she said to herself.  She realized that she only saw one hunter but truth is she didn't know how many were out there, what weapons they had and the most important part, where they were at.
   She looked to the ground to see loose pebbles on the ground, then eyed her gun and smiled picking them up and tossing them up and down in her hand.  She looked out in the opening and placed her gun at an angle, then threw a pebble out there to see a gun fire be shot and where the man was.  Rayvene threw the rest out of them and watched and heard the bullets hit against each pebble with presision. 
   The sound of an empty magazine hitting the floor echoed in her ears and took the advantage and finally jumped out from hiding firing at a man that stood on the cliff. He gargled a bit of blood out and then fell into the water permanately staying there. 
   The firing continued again as she ran towards the shoreline.  A bullet dug under her collarbone, a second into her arm.  Rayvene winced in little pain and began to ignore her wounds and continued to fire where that man was.  When she reached the shore she collapsed onto the ground and held her head, "Not again."
   One of the hunter's smirked and came towards her and looked down to her, "You'll fetch a fine price in the market."  He stated raising his gun to hit her on the head.
   Just as it was about to strike the leader wolf came and attacked the man.  The hunter just became ill-tempered and threw him off.  Rayvene pulled his feet out from under him and before he could get up placed her foot against his chest and aimed her gun and fired without hesitation.  She looked up with her evergreen eyes that have now turned to their ice blue.  Hurridly grabed her stuff and began to run back to camp.
   The other three were just talking preparing to eat the breakfast they have cooked with Rayvene came bursting through the bushes.  They just looked to her to see her covered in blood from the wounds she received. 
   Anaki just looked to her and then stood up, "You're a mess."
   All she did was raise up her gun and begin to fire behind the three boys.  They each fell to the ground and covered their heads from the bullets she fired.
   "You need to start keeping your mouth shut Anaki." Rei snorted as he stood up.

   Rayvene sat on the log as Rei and Neako cleansed her wounds.  All Anaki would do was pace back in forth in anger, frustration, and worry.  He paused a minute and looked to his twin sister and then began to pace back and forth again.   
   Rayvene could feel that anger burn inside him and just waited for him to finally explode.  He stopped and turned to her again and then parted his lips, "You should have told us where you were going instead of blowing us off."
   "Why should I?"
   "Then we could have been there to help you.  You wouldn't have come out of the woods looking like this." He stated in anger pointing to her wounds.
   Neako and Rei finished bandaging her up and walked away silently and quickly as possible to avoid the confrontation the two siblings would soon begin.  Rayvene only stood up and looked down to her brother.
   "I don't need your help," she shot back to him glaring at him.
   "You're my little sister.  You'll do as I say.  Next time you tell me where you're going.  Am I understood?"
   Rayvene stood there numb.  Not answering her question and just walked down to the pasture where their horses were grazing.  Anaki sighed and took a deep breath then kicked the log that sat by the fire.  Rei and Neako came back out of their hiding place and looked to him.
   "Maybe the Gods were mistaken."  Anaki started.
   Rei looked to Neako and picked up the left over linen bandages, "I'll let you handle this one."
   "Anaki the Gods are never mistaken.  Just give her time.  Besides we need to start packing anyways so we can get somewhere today.  Rei go get Rayvene."
   Rei nodded and placed the medical stuff into a bag and climbed up the hill and began to walk down to the pasture.
   Rayvene climbed up on a tree and sat on a branch looking outward.  The wind felt well upon her face and somewhat comforting.  She closed her eyes and greeted it willingly.  The rustling of what the leaves sounded like put a smile to her face but the neighing of her horse brought her out of her moments peace. 
   Rayvene jumped out of the tree and began to pet the side of his black neck.  she hugged him gently and he nuzzled her in return and clicked his hoof on the ground to let her know someone was coming near.  She reached to her harness and pulled out her gun pointing it straight at Rei who covered his face, "Don't shoot me."
   Rayvene lowered the gun, placing it back in the hip holster she wore.  Rei stoppe quivering in fear and removed his arms from shielding his face to see Rayvene's arm around her horses neck.  Her bangs flew over her eyes as the wind blew a bit.  Rei only smirked to himself admiring her beauty, her evergreen eyes turned to look in his brown ones as her black lips parted, "What is it?"
   "We need your help.  We're getting ready to leave."  He replied sighing to himself and blushing a bit from embarrasment of staring at her and even worse, being caught at it.